Isn't it beautiful and awful and wonderful and joyful and sad and devastating all at the same moment? Does it ever feel so full of love and goodness and hope that your heart might just burst? And doesn't it sometimes feel so full of despair and loss that the next step seems almost impossible?
That's life here, for us, on the farm at least. Life in it's fullest sense. Full of beauty and grace but yet filled with heartache and darkness. With all these moments mixed together, it seems that sometimes life is hard to take in. One moment full of joy and the next, reeling in pain.
We have lived moments like these on the farm this week.
Moments of sweet laughter and discovery:
Pigs LOVE back massages.
There they were, the two of them, sitting on overturned white feed buckets taking turns massaging the pigs. And oh how they loved every minute of it! Son and Father and 7 heritage pigs all mixed together out in that field. Sweet laughter.
Moments of despair and sadness and questions of how? Why?
One chicken killed in the night.
We found her feathers with signs of distress, fight, and loss over in the corner of the meadow, the one right by the garden.
But yet, even in the darkness, there is yet hope! For though one was lost, we are able to rejoice in the life of the other 29. Even as we question how it could have happened and when. . . we still are able to give thanks that it was just one. We are able to remain thankful that our flock has not been ravaged and decimated as is the case with so many other country flocks.
And yet, as in life in and of itself, and life on the farm, death and new life go hand in hand. We experienced the first loss of life on our farm, but we also welcomed new life with the arrival of four bountiful hives of bees.
I have often felt it, this feeling of life and death seemingly to go hand in hand. I have felt it kneeling in the garden, placing the tiniest of seeds deep in the darkness of the Earth. I have experienced it as I wait, almost to the point of hopelessness, for that tiny seed to burst forth with life. I have witnessed it as I walk through the forest and behold with my own eyes and my own senses that life comes from decay. That death brings life! The crazy beautiful mess of this creation is a miracle in and of itself that good does come from bad, if we have but courage to wait and hope.
That in death, there is soon new life to behold. The seed, buried in death and darkness does break through in Spring's green life. The death and decay of one season does bring renewal and abundance to the next. The hopelessness of one moment can indeed be the catalyst for joy and peace in the next.
If we but wait with courage.
Life and joy and peace and goodness and beauty will indeed be restored.